I regret little, but in looking back I am disappointed at my not participating in a reflection project for 2011. That year was so excruciating and painful and joyful and liberating and full that it is very much a blur of change. I should have recorded some part of it - though a peek into my December Daily 2011 will certainly give an indication to why the project did not get completed!

I enjoyed participating in reverb10 which resulted in a beautiful blog, a wonderful keepsake album and a collection of incredible memories - fully recorded. For 2010, I will always remember where I was and where I was planning on going. I want to go through that same exercise again for 2012. This past year was equally worth remembering.

Not that I have an abundance of time this year, but I do have a great desire, so that will have to do! I have curated a number of prompts from many resources. Those I've selected can be found below as well as a few of my own, they have each been attributed as best I can.

14 December 2012

day fourteen | relax

prompt: relax

Where did you feel most relaxed? Do you have a special space? (Author: Me) 

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I’m comfortable in my own skin and happy to be left in my own company but I am never relaxed. I might just be the most intense person I know. As a fierce mama to four kids, I have to be “on guard” and fully aware at all times. I have to be aware of a change in mood and a change in tone in the matter of moments. I also have to be in complete control of that reaction. That is hard and the complete opposite of relaxed.

I suppose the most relaxed I’ve ever been, ever, was last April. It was my last full day at Canyon Ranch. In the days earlier in the week, I’d had acupuncture, reflexology, a shoulder/head massage, time in a sauna, a manicure and swam every day. I enjoyed breakfasts, lunches and dinners with my sister – a brutal 2-mile walk too. The last day I was scheduled for a fancy new-age treatment and then at the last minute changed it to a simple full-body massage.

I was reading a mindless magazine in the waiting area, in my robe. My name was called and I walked down a dimly lit hallway and met a short, stocky man named Dave. I have to tell you my first impression was that I’d be happy to listen to his voice forever. Then we got all settled in for a massage and  not only did I have the pleasure of hearing him for an hour, with careful placement of rolled towels and plenty of unscented oil, he gave me the best massage of my life. I could have stayed there forever. FOREVER. So good, in fact, I’ve not had one since. I do hope he’s still there the next time I have an opportunity to visit.

In the meantime, I am trying to introduce more calm and relaxing rituals to my daily life. Walks along the lake, quiet and reflective time at home while the kids are at school, swimming mindless laps of the YMCA pool. It probably won’t have any effect on my level of intensity when required, but it will be good for me!

Though I have to admit, all of my “relaxing” is often done with a goal in mind which I don’t think is the point. I cannot shut my brain down enough to relax properly.

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